the recent generation there are so many troubled marriages thus causing
psychological stress to both couples .It has necessitated me t research on
resolutions to heal this troubled marriages ,the case study I have encountered
in my research ,shows that some women and men have committed suicide after their
relationship in marriage is broken. It has also caused psychological damage to
the children. Some children have strayed away from their families following the
breakage of the marriages and that is why we have so many street children in
streets who have been victims of either death of their parents or breakage of
their parent’s marriage. You will find that these children are psychologically
damaged because of indulging in drug abuse. As a psychologist, I felt concerned
to research on conflict’s resolutions in marriages thus getting the causes and
factors below and I welcome all my readers of this article to take precautions
in their marriages so as their be peacefully and happy marriages. Otherwise “You
spoil a marriage you spoil the Nation”
because a Nation is made up of families.
TOPIC- CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE
Isaya Wafula Kutoyi
or so called conflict are bound to happen in any marriage. This does not always
mean you are with the wrong person or your marriage will fail. This could be
initiated by either party.
is useful to observe your fighting patterns, quality, and quantity.
up pretending that all is well and be genuine about your relationship.
is not just a difference in opinion but is a series of events that have been
poorly or inadequately handled so as to damage the marriage relationship
issues get worse over time due stubbornness, pride anger, hurt, and bitterness
and these prevent effective marriage communication.
feelings become worse, more intense through long term neglect
a serious disagreement or argument, a clash between parents, children and other
a struggle, or opposition, a difference, a contrast of opinion?
Types of conflict
Man vs. man.
Man vs. nature
Man vs. society.
Man vs. man (marriage.
that lead to conflict
Poor or lack of planning.
Stress and frustration.
Causes of conflict in Marriage
Sex or romance.
Relationships. (Spouses friends).
end of honeymoon is the beginning of real married life, the good girl, boy
cover is over, and real person starts appearing. Where
this marriage was influence by material, physical attraction, romance, a
test of time
tell the end.
are various ways
for couples to resolve their differences. Marriages do not have to break .if the
couple is committed to resolve their
issues and communicate effectively
the marriage will survive .Don’t focus
on the symptoms diagnose the real issue. Eg MPANGO WA KANDO.
SOME WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT
will be handled
according to the cause of conflict.
Have your way.( settled by
Here one party gives in without ever
discussing the heart of the problem. If repeated feelings of
hurt--------defenses---- one party gets
Frustrated- -poor relationship.
it my way
One party overpowers the other e.g.
domineering wife or husband .Ones needs are ignored leading to rebellion. The
attitude changes from request to demanding (my needs must be met).
it our way.
A phase of compromising and negotiating
with each other. This works when there is good communication and commitment.
Have it any way you want.
A stage of resignation and giving up, one
feels hopeless worth less helpless, unloved due to un ending conflict.
One partner is discouraged and wonder if
the issues will ever be resolved.
At this stage see a marriage counselor
you can salvage your marriage.
above article has been researched and written by a psychological First Aid
Counselor Isaya Wafula Kutoyi.
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